Momma Stocks

So, my sister got all 4 of her wisdom teeth removed last Friday and came home all doped up and hiccuping.  My mom and I tag teamed taking care of her-getting new ice packs from the freezer, mashing up food, remembering when to give her drugs, etc.  Saturday my mom started having pain in her shoulder, something she's dealt with for years, and just keep stretching it and trying to massage away whatever was going on.  Over the next day or so it continued to get worse and she basically didn't sleep because she was in so much pain and eventually couldn't even lay down.  She went to a doctor in the area and they told her she may have torn her rotator cuff.  Sheesh.  So she called a surgeon and couldn't get an appointment until August 22-two weeks away!  She received steroids at the first doctor appointment and they really affected her mood, making her cry easily and feel really overwhelmed by everything.

I spent Monday bouncing between Abby and my mom, getting meds, ice packs or heating pads, fixing pillows under my mom's arm, putting in a new movie, making dinner, getting Abby mushy food she could eat, washing dishes (dish washer's broken), and trying to do all the things my mom does without even thinking.

The last time my mom was really sick, I was a little girl and my aunt lived with us at the time.  I remember it being really scary to see my mom on the couch all day...she was a workaholic and I'd never seen her stay in one spot that long.  My aunt took care of us, cooked for us, got us to school in clean clothes, and made sure some semblance of order was kept, on top of caring for my mom who had influenza followed by pneumonia. 

It's easy to take for granted that my mom will be there to cook, clean, and maintain the household, and it's overwhelming trying to keep up.  I think I might go out and buy us a dishwasher by the time this is over! haha!  My mom is constantly lamenting the fact that there's not enough time in the day to do everything, and I completely agree now.  I'd really rather write thank you notes or make the video I promised my brother months ago than spend two hours preparing a meal, serving it, and cleaning up afterwards!  On a good note, my sister is almost back to normal, except for what she can eat, my mom got an appointment with the surgeon for Monday instead of two weeks from now, and I called my grandmas and aunts and asked for help with meals, so I'm not like the lone caregiver facing the world alone. :)  Still, this isn't going to be over tomorrow. 

I'm slowly letting go of the picture I had of what this last month before I leave is going to be like.  Even if my mom is able to have surgery immediately, the recovery time will probably last the whole time I have left here.  That's actually really disappointing now that I let myself admit it.  I'm selfish and I want my mom to take care of me.  I think this would be easier if my mom wasn't quite so out of it because of pain meds...she either bounces from one topic to the next like a kid with ADHD or hyper-focuses on one thing like the fact that the blinds are crooked or the foot rest isn't quite long enough so her feet hang off the end.  I know that the meds are making her like that so usually I can just smile and fix whatever is bothering her.  I don't know if I'll be that compassionate for long though.  I know myself and unfortunately I'm not very nice when I'm tired and need time alone.  Jesus teach me to truly love, especially when it can't be reciprocated.

If you think of it, please pray for my mom's healing-that she would be miraculously healed with no permanent damage to her shoulder, for my family-that we would be patient, kind, and have the energy we need to love her and each other well, and for my preparations for Kenya-that everything that needs to be accomplished would be and that I'll be at peace about how much I can get done each day.

A little bonus info...I'm getting closer with fundraising!  I have 78% of my set-up budget raised, and 75% of my monthly budget pledged.  We're getting there!