Curveball

It's been so long that I don't know where to start writing!
Should I do the work update? The spiritual life update? The relationship update?
I think I'll just let my fingers decide what to type...

It's June, I've lived here for 9 months.  When I first came I planned to be here a few weeks to a month at the longest.  Ha!  I'm absolutely positive this is where God wanted me to be, but I'm feeling anxious for the next thing.  I'm making plans to move back to Kenya in August sometime, but if I've learned anything from the last 9 months it's that life rarely follows the plan and I'm preparing myself for more curve balls.

I spent a lot of time this year wrestling with the fact that God doesn't always shield his people from painful things, even those who are walking in obedience to him.  At one point I wrote, "God, I truly, truly want to follow you.  I'm seeing that it might mean pain, loneliness, even death, and my heart is struggling to still say yes with as much conviction as before. Before I understood what counting the cost meant.  I'm counting it, and I know when I've measured the pain and loss, your worth will still make my sacrifice look pitiful.  You will always be worth whatever I can give."

The real struggle isn't deciding whether or not to follow Christ, it's deciding to follow with a full awareness of both the truth that he has good and not evil planned for me and the reality that bad things are going to happen.  I could choose to ignore the possibility that it might not all be sunshine and roses ahead, but I want to be the kind of person who glorifies God, like Job did, when horrible things come.  I'm convinced Job didn't just wake up on the day his life fell apart and suddenly become holy-he lived for years and years becoming the man that could say at the lowest point in his life, "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be his name!"

I'm following Christ with eyes wide open, and I still say yes, not because God will give me a comfortable, quiet life or because I'll get something in return in heaven one day, but because it's the only way I know how to respond to who he is...it's my spiritual act of worship, to give myself as a living sacrifice to him.  I can't possibly do enough to show him I see how incredible, how entirely good, how far greater than anything I can conceive he is!  Living every day as an ambassador, hoping to draw others to him, is the least I can do to honor him.

In the middle of all this cost counting, God gave me the most wonderful gift, almost like reassurance that sometimes his curve balls aren't painful.  I met this guy... :)   How do I describe him?  He challenges and encourages me in my faith, he's so much fun to be with, people look to him for leadership without realizing it, he is kind to kids and respectful to women, he's a mystery :)  We're getting to know each other, I suppose you could call it dating, and I am having a blast!  I'm pretty sure God kept me from dating all these years so I wouldn't know what I was missing out on and try to make it happen on my own.  I'm so glad I've waited for God to bring this relationship about, I'm enjoying every moment!  What a wonderful gift, thank you God!

Also, my dad, mom and sister are coming to visit!  They'll be here in less than a month, and I'm busy planning adventures left and right.  I'm soooo excited to catch up with them, take a real vacation, and enjoy speaking American ;)