How to Order Pizza

My housemates and I recently discovered that one of the restaurants in town advertises home delivery, so we had to see for ourselves if it was true...

How to order a pizza in Sland:

-Call all your friends in the area to see if they want pizza because the place will only deliver if you order at least $20 of food.

-Call the pizza place at 4PM and find out the phone is turned off. 

-Assume the phone will be turned on when they open for the evening meal and proceed to call every 10 minutes to see if they’ve opened.

-Finally hear an awesomely loud ringback tone instead of the error message when you call around 5PM.

-Talk with the man who thankfully speaks English, and say you want to order pizza and have it delivered to the house.  

-Discover the restaurant requires you to pay in advance using your phone (nifty system, but you haven't had time to set up your phone to do so).

-Successfully convince the man that you are trustworthy and will REALLY pay the driver when the pizza arrives at the house.

- Man tells you he's on his way to the restaurant and will call back when he gets there in 5 minutes.

-Wait 20 minutes.

-Call the man, he says he's at the restaurant checking to see if they're too busy to deliver, in which case we're out of luck.  He says he'll call back in a few minutes.

-Wait 10 nail-biting minutes, man calls and says they can make the pizza and deliver it!  

-Try to give directions to the house without an address or any street names (something like, drive past the yellow mosque and the big rocks on the right, you'll recognize the house by the special guards for white people chilling outside).

-Give the phone to the guard to give directions (he talks forever and you're not entirely sure the pizza guy's going to make it).

-Man at the restaurant says it'll be 35 minutes, laugh sardonically to yourself and hope you'll get to eat pizza eventually tonight.

-Wait 1 hour.

-Get a call from the man at the restaurant because the driver's lost, relay directions from the guard, to the man on phone, to the driver.

-5 minutes later, guard knocks on the door and says he's going to walk to where the pizza guy is because the guy doesn't want to drive up our mountain range of a road with his little car.

-Wait 20 minutes with fork and knife in hand and stomach growling

-Meet the pizza guy at the gate.  He has the aluminum foil wrapped pizza, but forgot the cokes.  Pay for them anyway because he has no change.

-Hurry inside and reheat the lukewarm pizza.

-Enjoy a seriously cheesy, delicious pizza that only took 3 hours to arrive!